Lancaster, and the towns surrounding it, have to be the stupidest places in america. As I write this, I am on a 6 53 bus that was supposed to show up at 6 30, which was scheduled to arrive at my train station at 7. 12 minutes before the train is scheduled to depart. Now I’m no mathematician, but let’s give this a crack. I had 12 spare minutes to catch my train if all went according to schedule. Since it didn’t, and my bus was 23 minutes late, logic should dictate that I will arrive at my train station 11 minutes after my train has left. Which means I will have to wait an hour – in lancaster – for the next one.
“Stop whining, train stations always have something to do around them – just kill some time!”, you must be thinking. Well you’d be wrong. The drinks and snacks stall in the station closes at 3. Across the street there is a “mall” consisting of a pizza shop run by a greek named Niko who can’t make a gyro to save his life, but oddly enough has palatable slices. Next to this is an arts and crafts store, a verizon store, and a store selling drapes. Fabulous.
For any place to call itself a city, it must have robust mass transit…because, well, that’s what a city is about. Lancaster, on the other hand, is full of snotty arsewipes who have nothing better to do than to sell shit used cars and go to shit bars for shit finger food and beer that tastes like pisswater. They have a fairly active downtown, which is why I don’t understand why they are only served by one commercial rail line, and are served by the most USELESS bus service ever, frequented by the worlds stupidest commuters.
Not only has this city’s lack of ability to efficiently run a bus service down 8 miles of road ruined my evening, but it has put the final nail in the coffin.
I had hope for this city; I was able to look past the amish, the guns, the bad taste in music and dress, the lack of class, and even the constant wafts of cow manure in the air. But this is it. None of those other things really affected me much. But today, the “city” of Lancaster has done what should never be done. It has fucked with my livelihood.
I have now reached my train station 2 minutes past the departure time of my train. And this angers me more than anything because if the fat arsewipe driver had taken the time to drive WHILE passengers pay their fare instead of remaining stationary, watching arthritic seniles fiddle with their dimes and pennys, that would have been 2 minutes worth of saved time.
Thankfully for me, my other beloved mode of transport was three minutes late.
I kid you not, as I purchased my ticket, the train rolled into the station.
Maybe there is a God…but wherever he is, he clearly isn’t helping Lancaster much.
